Daily Wedding Advice

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What to do when planning overwhelm hits

May 2, 2018

Getting engaged is hugely exciting and for weeks people will congratulate you and you will feel like you are sitting on could nine. 

Once the wedding planning starts and you list all the things you need to organise, many people can get very overwhelmed. This can cause them to behave in all sorts of ways. 

Some couples choose procrastination and do nothing for weeks and then have a planning spur. They say to each other that this weekend is a planning weekend and we get stuff sorted. And if something comes up spontaneously, such as an invitation to a party, they can easily postpone the planning until next weekend. 

Wedding planning can also cause anxiety with some brides and grooms. The sheer task of getting all the different suppliers organised, getting input - wanted or unwanted - from family members, sending out invitations and people not responding in time are only a few things couples can struggle with during the planning period. 

Anxiety can make people feel helpless and they retreat which then results in a less effective planning period. Wedding planning can also cause stress for the same reasons just mentioned. The way to overcome this is to have regular planning sessions together, as a couple. 

The first step is to do a brainstorm about all the different elements of a wedding, such as paper invites, type of ceremony, huge floral displays or just a bouquet for the bride, type of wedding cake - or is the cake important at all? Do we want wedding transport? Will we have a band or a DJ? Do we want a buffet or a formal sit-down meal? Do we want bridesmaids, and if so how many and who are they? Who will be the best man, or you might opt for a best woman. And who will be the Ushers? Do we want wedding entertainment during reception? Do we want canapés during reception? Do we want a receiving line? Do we need a photographer for the full day or just for a few hours? 

If you look through a wedding magazine, they will give you a list of all the elements a wedding can have and you can then decide which ones are crucial for your wedding. Once you have finalised the important elements for your wedding, put them on a list and then prioritise which suppliers you want to get organised first. You do not need to have all suppliers in place 18 months before your wedding. 

The big ones people get out of the way first tend to be the venue, the photographer and the band. All other suppliers can be booked much closer to the wedding. If you then look at venues, shortlist a few and visit them together and get a feeling for the place. Do the same for the photographer: create a shortlist and then contact them and see if they are still free and then meet with them.